Ambrose Bierce quotes

 quotes - Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Share

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

— Ambrose Bierce

 quotes - Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Share

“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

 quotes - War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Share

“War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.”

— Ambrose Bierce

 quotes - Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. Share

“Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

— Ambrose Bierce

 quotes - Doubt is the father of invention. Share

“Doubt is the father of invention.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.”

— Ambrose Bierce