George Burns quotes

 quotes - Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. Share

“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.”

— George Burns

 quotes - Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Share

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”

— George Burns

 quotes - Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. Share

“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”

— George Burns

 quotes - You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. Share

“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”

— George Burns

“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”

— George Burns

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

— George Burns

“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.”

— George Burns

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”

— George Burns

“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”

— George Burns

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”

— George Burns

“First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.”

— George Burns

“Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.”

— George Burns

“Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

— George Burns

“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”

— George Burns

“You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.”

— George Burns

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.”

— George Burns

“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”

— George Burns

“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”

— George Burns

“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”

— George Burns

“The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

— George Burns

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”

— George Burns

“Be quick to learn and wise to know.”

— George Burns

“You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.”

— George Burns

“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”

— George Burns

“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”

— George Burns

“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”

— George Burns

“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.”

— George Burns

“At my age flowers scare me.”

— George Burns

“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”

— George Burns

“It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”

— George Burns