Josh Billings quotes

“If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.”

— Josh Billings

“Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.”

— Josh Billings

“Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.”

— Josh Billings

“One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.”

— Josh Billings

“Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.”

— Josh Billings

“The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.”

— Josh Billings

“There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.”

— Josh Billings

“It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.”

— Josh Billings

“Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.”

— Josh Billings

“It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.”

— Josh Billings

“As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.”

— Josh Billings

“Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.”

— Josh Billings

“When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.”

— Josh Billings

“A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.”

— Josh Billings

“A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.”

— Josh Billings

“The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.”

— Josh Billings

“Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.”

— Josh Billings

“The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.”

— Josh Billings

“I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.”

— Josh Billings

“If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.”

— Josh Billings

“Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.”

— Josh Billings

“Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.”

— Josh Billings

“Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.”

— Josh Billings

“One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.”

— Josh Billings

“The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.”

— Josh Billings

“There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.”

— Josh Billings

“Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.”

— Josh Billings

“Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.”

— Josh Billings

“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.”

— Josh Billings

“Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.”

— Josh Billings