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Phyllis Diller quotes
“My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. ”
— Phyllis Diller
“You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.”
— Phyllis Diller
“I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'”
— Phyllis Diller
“Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.”
— Phyllis Diller
“The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you. ”
— Phyllis Diller
“Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. ”
— Phyllis Diller
“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.”
— Phyllis Diller
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