Mark Twain quotes

 quotes - <p>Buy land, they're not making it anymore.</p> Share

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. Share

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Share

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. Share

“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - <p>Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.</p> Share

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

— Mark Twain

 quotes - There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. Share

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Don't let schooling interfere with your education. Share

“Don't let schooling interfere with your education.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Share

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. Share

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Classic. A book which people praise and don't read. Share

“Classic. A book which people praise and don't read.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. Share

“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Share

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. Share

“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. Share

“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. Share

“Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - We have the best government that money can buy. Share

“We have the best government that money can buy.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Share

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Share

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Share

“It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. Share

“Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. Share

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. Share

“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat. Share

“If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so. Share

“It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. Share

“There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. Share

“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Share

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. Share

“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Share

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”

— Mark Twain

 quotes - A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Share

“A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”

— Mark Twain