Ambrose Bierce quotes

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Doubt is the father of invention.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.”

— Ambrose Bierce

“Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.”

— Ambrose Bierce