Fran Lebowitz quotes

 quotes - Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. Share

“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”

— Fran Lebowitz

 quotes - The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Share

“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”

— Fran Lebowitz

 quotes - I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. Share

“I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.”

— Fran Lebowitz

 quotes - The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. Share

“The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“You're only as good as your last haircut.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“My favorite animal is steak.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?”

— Fran Lebowitz

“I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“If you're going to America, bring your own food.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.”

— Fran Lebowitz