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"I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'"
Top Phyllis Diller Quotes
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? "
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. "
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. "
Phyllis Diller quotes