Bill Cosby quotes

“The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.”

— Bill Cosby

“The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.”

— Bill Cosby

“As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'”

— Bill Cosby

“When you become senile, you won't know it.”

— Bill Cosby

“Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.”

— Bill Cosby

“Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'”

— Bill Cosby

“For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next.”

— Bill Cosby

“That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.”

— Bill Cosby

“If you have no faith, you've lost your battle.”

— Bill Cosby

“The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.”

— Bill Cosby

“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.”

— Bill Cosby

“Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.”

— Bill Cosby

“The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.”

— Bill Cosby

“Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.”

— Bill Cosby

“I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.”

— Bill Cosby

“I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.”

— Bill Cosby

“I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

— Bill Cosby

“When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.”

— Bill Cosby

“My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.”

— Bill Cosby

“Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.”

— Bill Cosby

“I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.”

— Bill Cosby

“Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.”

— Bill Cosby

“I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.”

— Bill Cosby

“I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.”

— Bill Cosby

“Old is always fifteen years from now.”

— Bill Cosby

“There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.”

— Bill Cosby

“There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess.”

— Bill Cosby

“When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students.”

— Bill Cosby

“Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.”

— Bill Cosby

“Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.”

— Bill Cosby