Andy Rooney quotes

“A writer's job is to tell the truth.”

— Andy Rooney

“As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.”

— Andy Rooney

“I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.”

— Andy Rooney

“The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.”

— Andy Rooney

“The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.”

— Andy Rooney

“When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.”

— Andy Rooney

“I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?”

— Andy Rooney

“Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.”

— Andy Rooney

“Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.”

— Andy Rooney

“Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.”

— Andy Rooney

“I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.”

— Andy Rooney

“The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.”

— Andy Rooney

“The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.”

— Andy Rooney

“I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.”

— Andy Rooney

“I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.”

— Andy Rooney

“I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.”

— Andy Rooney