Henny Youngman quotes

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”

— Henny Youngman

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.”

— Henny Youngman

“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”

— Henny Youngman

“My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.”

— Henny Youngman

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

— Henny Youngman