Steven Wright quotes

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”

— Steven Wright

“I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.”

— Steven Wright

“I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'”

— Steven Wright

“I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.”

— Steven Wright