funny quotes

Funny quotes - It is better to go skiing and think of God, than go to church and think of sport. Share

“It is better to go skiing and think of God, than go to church and think of sport.”

Funny quotes - Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. Share

“Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. ”

Funny quotes - Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students. Share

“Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.”

Funny quotes - <p>Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.</p> Share

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Funny quotes - A man's true character comes out when he's drunk. Share

“A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.”

Funny quotes - As long as you know men are like children, you know everything! Share

“As long as you know men are like children, you know everything! ”

Funny quotes - The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. Share

“The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.”

Funny quotes - Darling, the legs aren't so beautiful, I just know what to do with them. Share

“Darling, the legs aren't so beautiful, I just know what to do with them.”

Funny quotes - Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Share

“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”

Funny quotes - Money may not buy happiness, but it can damn well give it! Share

“Money may not buy happiness, but it can damn well give it!”

Funny quotes - Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Share

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

Funny quotes - The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. Share

“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”

Funny quotes - <p> They didn't want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.</p> Share

 They didn't want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.

Funny quotes - Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. Share

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.”

Funny quotes - Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Share

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”

Funny quotes - Age is not important unless you're a cheese. Share

“Age is not important unless you're a cheese.”

Funny quotes - The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. Share

“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”

Funny quotes - It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. Share

“It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”

Funny quotes - Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. Share

“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

Funny quotes - The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive. Share

“The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.”

Funny quotes - Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. Share

“Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”

Funny quotes - A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Share

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”

Funny quotes - After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.' Share

“After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'”

Funny quotes - Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. Share

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. ”

Funny quotes - I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. Share

“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.”

Funny quotes - I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Share

“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

Funny quotes - When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Share

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

Funny quotes - To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.' Share

“To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'”

Funny quotes - Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. Share

“Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.”

Funny quotes - The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Share

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”